The Four Stages of Butt Butter
On long distance cycling events, especially on multi-day events like ALC, butt butter is essential.
Butt butter or chamois cream is an anti-chafing cream. Applied to the butt and groin area. It creates a barrier and reduces rubbing. They are often formulated with ingredients like shea butter, coconut oil, and other emollients to soothe and moisturize the skin. There are several variants: a US and European style cream, for him and her.
During ALC, there are boxes and boxes of little packets of butt butter, often in a small plastic glove for easy application.
We all go through various butt butter modesty stages:
- Apply in private, in a port-a potty.
- Apply turned away, and far from folks, near a wall or corner.
- Apply near my bicycle. There are people nearby.
- Apply in conversation, fully keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to. Congratulations, only now are you worthy of the ALC medal.
The hardest part is returning to the normal world and recalibrating modesty levels.